Many years ago, I started learning Buddhism. Not as a religion, just the rational concepts resonate with my way of thinking. One of the core ideas I struggled with for a long time is the detachment of the self. Not as a withdrawal or rejection of the world around you, but letting go of the need to be accepted, or of being right, and taking the seat of the observer.
This is a reflective question – rooted in a practical concern, yet tethered to a philosophical longing for truth. I’m essentially asking:
How can I practise Buddhist equanimity without becoming a doormat or a monk? How do I live wisely and skilfully in a corporate jungle that doesn’t reward detachment but rather performance, validation, and constant proof of competence?
Think about it: how can one detach itself, for instance, drop the need to be seen as competent in a corporate organisation? Will that leave you wise yet unemployed?
Philosophical Clarity: Detachment ≠ Disengagement
One of the most common misunderstandings of Buddhist detachment is the idea that it leads to apathy, passivity, or loss of ambition. But true detachment is non-attachment to outcomes, not non-action.
You can still strive for excellence, care about your work, communicate assertively, build a reputation etc., but with equanimity—that inner balance where you no longer depend on the validation of others to confirm your worth or panic when things don’t go your way.
“Let go of the fruit, but not the work.”
So, it’s not about being “unaffected” like a monk hiding in the hills, but about being grounded like a stormproof tree—roots deep in values, flexible branches, not brittle ego.
Here’s a practical path to turn understanding into embodied wisdom—without losing your job, sanity, or ambition:
1. Reframe competence as contribution
Instead of clinging to being seen as right, focus on being of service. That mindset removes ego while still producing excellence. This shifts you from ego-based proving to value-based contributing.
2. Practise “Mini-Meditative Pauses” in meetings
Corporate life is performance theatre. It’s easy to get caught in quick reactions. A Buddhist-inspired method is to train in response vs. reaction. Before answering a challenging question or defending a point, take a silent 3-second breath. Let that breath anchor you. (3rd Space, anyone?)
This gives your nervous system a reset and puts space between stimulus and response—classic mindfulness meets executive presence.
3. Cultivate a “Wise Witness” Journal
At the end of each day, reflect on:
One moment where you reacted from ego
One moment where you responded from presence
One thing you let go of, even if you felt the urge to control
Over time, you’ll create a personal log of applied wisdom, not just theoretical insight.
4. Set “Inner KPIs”
KPIs measure your corporate performance. But what about inner metrics?
Did I speak from a place of clarity or insecurity today?
Was I driven by curiosity or fear of being wrong?
Did I uphold my values, even when it cost me validation?
The idea is to turn wisdom into a high-performance practice—not a retreat.
5. Use Role Models Strategically
Not everyone in the corporate world is a narcissist or a bulldozer. Some play the game wisely, with grace.
Who around me seems calm and respected?
What do they do that I can observe, mimic, and adapt?
Can I emulate their “wise assertiveness”?
This balances aspiration with grounded modelling. Wisdom can be a sharp suit with emotional regulation.
Mastery in the modern world is not about renouncing the ego, but regulating it.
It’s not about denying ambition, but about transmuting it from a source of stress into a vessel for impact.
This isn’t about escaping the game. It’s about learning how to play the game without letting the game play you.
Ask yourself:
What part of your identity feels most threatened if you’re “not right” at work?
Can you think of a recent time you didn’t get your way, and it turned out better than expected?
Who is a professional role model that you admire for their composure and clarity?
Are there recurring emotional triggers at work? (e.g., being interrupted, being questioned)
If you could act from deep inner confidence instead of approval-seeking, what would change?
The sky is always there
One analogy that works well for me is that we are the sky – well, strive to be. The great storms, happy rainbows, gloomy clouds etc., are just that: clouds, weather. They come and go. You, as the sky, are bigger, vast, unshakeable, unflappable.
The real power is knowing the sky is still there even when it’s hidden behind clouds of feedback, friction, or performance reviews. You’re not renouncing ambition—you’re reclaiming your centre.
You don’t need to become a monk → Just a storm-savvy skywalker.
Once upon a time, a hare named Ishi and a leader beaver named Honcho lived in the Enchanted Wood. One morning, the group was discussing gathering berries from the east and west groves, which have different processes for each, when Ishi mistakenly mixed them up when explaining the plan.
One of his peers noticed and called out the correct procedure for each orchard. Ishi thanked him and was about to proceed when Honcho bellowed, “You have erred!” and subjected him to a harsh lecture in front of the forest crew. Ishi’s ears drooped lower with each barb, while Honcho challenged his competence publicly, shaking his confidence. Unfairly. (SCARF, Rock 2018)
The hare later approached the leader and said, “I mean no disrespect, but I can’t tolerate being treated like that, especially so publicly. It wilts my spirit and undermines my confidence.” But Honcho was adamant. “I was doing you and everyone a favour, correcting your mistakes for all to learn! You can’t accept feedback; that’s the real issue.”
Honcho explained that it was his “authentic style”, and the Master Owl’s words immediately came to mind: “Authenticity without empathy is selfish. Authenticity without boundaries is careless” (A. Grant). Ishi apologised a couple of times for the mix-up (never executed, no harm was done). He raised how the situation was poorly handled, publicly, but Honcho was never there to listen; he was too busy defending his unquestionable authority. (Goleman’s Leadership Styles; DiSC).
In the weeks that followed, the tension hung thick in the air.
Ishi raised the issue with Honcho’s manager, only to hear “perhaps you should seek employment with one of our suppliers”. Defeated, he replayed the public rebuke over and over in his mind. He knew he needed a way to mend the situation. He takes a step back, reflects on the feedback and some behaviour patterns (LAB Profile®), and decides to adopt a new approach.
In the following meetings, his stand-up updates prioritised established processes over discussions. No more creative inputs, no questions asked. Honcho felt back in control, and the tension slowly passed. Eventually, harmony was back in the Enchanted Wood. The discussions disappeared, along with creative collaboration, idea sharing, and challenging directions.
The order was restored.
Then, Ishi left that neck of the woods for good! He couldn’t help but wonder, though:
How can leaders balance authenticity and empathy when giving feedback?
How can pack members communicate effectively with different leadership styles?
How can forest chiefs encourage constructive feedback and creative collaboration?
What role does clear process communication play in preventing misunderstandings?
How can individuals develop resilience and adaptability in challenging work environments?
After further learning, some inconvenient truths… I mean, thoughts:
Robert Greene, “The 48 Laws of Power”– Greene’s Law 1 suggests that a direct report should never outshine their leader. By immediately correcting the mistake, especially in public, the leader might claim they were reasserting their position and preventing any perceived dimming of their own “light.” This is a purely Machiavellian interpretation, focusing on power dynamics rather than effective leadership or team development.
Dale Carnegie, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” – You Can’t Win an Argument; Avoid It. They could argue that by immediately “shutting down” the employee’s mistake, they were preventing a longer, potentially unproductive discussion or “argument” about the process error. Their “authentic style” could be framed as a blunt but efficient way to prevent prolonged debate. Of course, this completely misses Carnegie’s emphasis on tact, respect, and preserving the other person’s dignity.
Kim Scott, “Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity”: The leader in this scenario challenged directly but utterly failed on the “caring personally” front. Scott would argue that public humiliation is the opposite of caring personally and leads to “obnoxious aggression” or even “manipulative insincerity.”
Brene Brown, “Dare to Lead” (Vulnerability, Empathy, and Psychological Safety): The leader’s “authentic style” that leads to public shaming is antithetical to creating psychological safety. Brown would argue that such behaviour erodes trust and makes employees less likely to take risks, admit mistakes, or innovate.
Adam Grant, “Give and Take” (Reciprocity and Psychological Safety): Grant’s research highlights the benefits of “givers” in the workplace and the importance of creating environments where people feel safe to contribute. A leader who publicly shames a direct report is acting as a “taker”, diminishing the employee’s psychological capital and willingness to engage.
Maintaining Standards and Accountability (Without Empathy):
From a rigid, results-oriented perspective, a leader might argue that their primary responsibility is to maintain high standards and ensure accountability. The public correction was a swift way to address a deviation from process, emphasising that errors, even if “no harm was done,” are unacceptable. This argument often prioritises process and outcome over human interaction and development.
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D. Mallinson
National Marketing Manager at Elders Group
